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I hate everyone. ( ゚ヮ゚)
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metaknighty:

surprise your friends at rock paper scissors by throwing a punch instead

(Source: rhinse)

jobhaver:

you: that is a nice ass shirt

me: thank you but, to be honest, its called “pants” and not an “ass shirt”

catswithbenefits:

i dont want a job i just want paychecks

commisure:

i dont know whats emptier, my bank account or my love life

davidbyrne:

i love laughing about the friend zone because it’s so dumb like you know most of those dudes aren’t even IN the “friend zone” they’re in the “ugh god not this dude again” zone